~ Toska (Russian)
The Russian word toska actually has a lot of emotional registers, if you read this definition by Vladimir Nabokov, author of Lolita: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”
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Toska is one of the most painful feelings of sadness a person feels in my opinion as you have the capability to have such extreme feelings of sadness for no apparent SUDDEN reason. I tend to feel this way when my life is packed with so many things in school or work. It is partially exhaustion and being over-whelmed but when that builds up there is this sense of darkness that fills and has your mental health is declining. There is a sense of numbness that fills you. Feeling numb is the darkest point for myself personally. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ode to Melancholy:
"But when the melancholy fit shall fall Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all, And hides the green hill in an April shroud;"
This was my favorite line as melancholy is expressed in a fit and items of nature are described emotionally rather then with appearance. I appreciate this ode as it displays the interconnection of pain and pleasure and specifically how without pain there is no pleasure. Personally when I fall into personal fits of melancholy I repeat to myself in my head "Pain is a privilege of living." This is especially important to be as it makes my sadness feel less extreme and I begin to think that I would not be a living if i never felt pain. Likewise there is no pleasure if there is no pain.
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